It would make more sense
if I had evidence of the pain
a bruised heart would raise
on my chest, and leave a scar
to remind me never to play
with fire again.
Category: Cancelled Without Prejudice
Injured by Need
when the days run faster, you fight
and search for a pattern, but you
you remember not to lean sideways
as you bend, you can’t remember
the last time she crossed your mine
nor can’t you remember her presence
what she looks like, or what she
sounds through the recorder
that is memory of a day
as she walks across your page.
Dressed Up in Time
maybe you should recognize|
my rest isn’t a pause, my count|
of one is really many, my heart|
maybe you should recognize|
my occurrence, my wave signature|
before telling me to stop beating|
breathing my dissent fire, blowing through|
the night, what it means to dream|
what it means to see|
Drone Bee
Tired of being
Tired of caring
Tired of nothing
Tired of wanting
Tired of projecting
Tired of trying
Tired of processing
Tired of explaining
Tired of reaching
Tired of withdrawing
Tired of loving
Tired of hurting
Tired of crying
Tired of not crying
Tired of writing
Tired of exposing
Tired of seeking
Tired of blaming
Tired of accepting
Tired of regretting
Tired of giving
Tired of expecting
Tired of fearing
Tired of waiting
Tired of everthing
…
Clairvoyance
As you turn away skipping
away with my sensibilities
my potential, I’m left with nothing
but a long for a time when I didn’t desire
to feel a breath as much as yours
your laughter haunting the corridors
the ghost mirrors the absence, I ware it like naked jewelry
naked jewelry of bones on display of my limbed soul.
I needed that what I gave to you
I struggle without it, my diadem
you accepted without knowing
how precious a self is to give away
not keeping something for me…
You didn’t want me anyway…
Contained
Dear Someone,
I felt the painful
drudgery of leaving
the door ajar?
My fear of silence
cold closed door
we can wonder
amongst ourselves
What safe means
Already New
What a night it was, when I realized
I have myself, and shouts of victory
sings, claps, praise a release that
doesn’t wait for you to recognize
validate my breath as it breathes
for the night’s fresh air, with it’s majesty
of stars, glory that is the moon, with
the coming sunrise, I kiss absurdity’s latitude.
Lover Sunset
Lover sunset, please don’t be a love sofa
because a love sofa only tease the loving
that was meant to be used: completely sprawled
as a conduit of connectuals, I recline on a full set.
Fever To Touch
Listen HERE to a song I wrote on the steelpan for a very special woman I met recently. The song is called FEVER TO TOUCH and there’s a poem that goes with it as well that I wrote awhile back called Everyone Should Know This. I’m hoping to turn the poem into lyrics for the song.
As you can tell, this woman had a huge impact on my senses, enough so that I’m still grieving over the loss of not getting to know her in the way I envisioned.
I’m still thankful to have shared those moments that were gifts of kindness, an awakening… I felt like I could love, and be loved again. Maybe that was the point of our encounter, who knows. But I’ll keep the joy I felt close at hand as I walk these streets of uncertainty.
History
I made a bed of marvelling
a spectator that risk nothing
as I live to work, since everyday
is routine, I plan events to escape
the monotony exhaling in pores of
last night’s adventure of nothingness
and then drown my sorrows in a note
a blind note bottled with the spirits of
the dead drunkards, I leave my last breath.
Can’t keep you Away in E flat
Can’t keep anything
Can’t keep you and your mind
Can’t keep your love, our love alive
Can’t keep the ghosts of unbelieving outside
Can’t keep you, as you’d want to be kept.
Vestige
And now, shoulders crouch
as if to say my rib cage was useless
as my heart no long lives there.
It is theirs, theirs to marvel as it skips
to beat faster as they appear through
mirrors. I am still living as if it were present
but if you look inside my skeleton you’d see
you’d see that I’m now cold and crude
broken, broken without my heart
oh Lord I miss you, I miss you, oh Lord.
Boomerang: A Christian Want
They say that if you put stuff out there you get it back.
Well, I’m tired of waiting for loyalty, tired of waiting for compassion
I’m tired of waiting for life to exude itself in kindness, sweetness
independent loving. When can I expect this back? Is there an expiration date?
When can I expect my “goodwork” to happen? Today? Tomorrow?
When can I walk steady and not be on a tightrope?
When will the pain of the devil stop so I can feel again?
Feel my neighbors, my friends, when can hurt
be temporary and doesn’t add up to a wretchedness?
I’m tired of knowing you don’t exist, I’m so tired of waiting for you out there
when all of my fresh being is anointed with hurt and pretense.
How many more years do I have to go before I don’t care anymore?
How many more people do I have to meet before I stop giving myself wholeheartedly?
How much more time do I have left before I just collapse in defeat?
DoubleSpeak
In the mist of mistakes lies trimuph.
When optimism is all I have left to risk
giving way to hopes of a juniper night:
Holding you again. Wanting something
I can’t have whole. I struggle in pieces…
I started drinking my desires away around 4:00 p.m.
It didn’t help the crying, as my shoulders, drunken
they weigh the hours and the minutes of this drought
silently anticipates seeing your golden eyes again
expectation wants nothing more than your kisses now.
Vulnerable to prays when I might be an atheist.
Prays for things out of my control, I meditate a howl
that is so quiet, but roars your name. Underneath bellows
relinquishing all the burdens of my travel through the fire.
The Dream
Driving down this long stretch of road
there’s nothing to see outside but darkness
I’m terrified of the battery going dead
but then I remember, and I’m comforted
with the thought of her weight pressing
against me again, her dancing as she cooks
she snaps her fingers, and glide her shoulders
from side to side, yeah I stare at her behaviour
from the soulful secrets I’ve stored as memory
so precious to me now as I race through the desert
like a fugitive, I race through the night wandering
through these wasted cities, I close my eyes to the lights
as I’ve arrived at my destination, where nothing exist
where I stand, stranded, looking into her eyes, surrendering.
OCHROID
While everyone is sleeping, I lay awake
wondering what is holier than listening
for when finding the hum of your breathing
nothing else exist but this joyous jubilee
suddenly, the inanimate becomes alive
imagining golden horizons staring back at me.
Like a stray dog, I point my nose to the eclipsed
moon, begging for your scent, your sun, I wander
in circles, shivering on the last spot you stood saying
goodbye, I howl my loneliness for everyone to witness.
Not Nobody
Not nobody hears you sing a song so holy
disturbing my rest, with a new question mark
with a new need, that couldn’t be taken aback…
Not nobody can give you a proof of love as holy?
Not nobody can come up with a proof that love exist?
With it’s meant to be absolute? With it matrices
struggling to breathe as conditional decides
for us when we do unfold, gathering care for you
revealing silent songs of secret desires, desire
that rest with our bones, a ghost, we build
but never forget the wasted never leave mes.
Not nobody, I hear your song stories
please play your impressions again
as I keep hearing you dear, keeping you dear to me…
Looking for my Songbird
I hear the sweetness of desire in the timber of your sunset
and I want to cage it’s sound for when I feel washed of my love,
when I’m washed cleaned, that slow of my desires…
Muse
Now that I’ve found you dear
I don’t know what rest means
as longing has grip my moments
with short curls, and tender kisses
like a thief, stealing my soul away
I want to show you where my many colors begin
when each space has a ripple as riotous as a tending moment
leviatating slowly in the contours of your ebbing embrace
an effusion where I beg for your name.
Dream Pulse
Beating it’s unfathomable rhythm
breathing its ether time signatures
when to come in, when to rest
when to burst into a horizon
I found you and your lips…
COCOYEA 
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