Because of these.
No, these…
that declared war on my native tongue.

I’ve been suffering the insufferable,
suffocated,
sullied,
sullen,
stunted.

Silenced of words to scream out that which submerge
for life savers to be thrown at my pleas.
Not knowing what to say has swallowed my delight.
All that remains is a bloated ill-figured shape.

To converse with the sensible is beyond exhaustion.
I’m a child again trying to talk in “big people’s business”,
stuck in between sentences with stuttering importance.

Gone mute now, a Carthusian monk’s vow is my tongue
I’m but a beggar for a point of view
some kind of vision that will help me escape
this state, where even grunting seems useless…