Distance

Nothing in this life can and has prepared
any of us for losing anyone…

Especially someone as special

a special existence?

Could a special existence
make more sense?

Even in the randomness?

I have experienced dualism
finding others like him
little bits of his laughter

busting out at my response
at the world as he evaporates
as I get frustrated and breaking
everything my little but always bigger
Brother…

When we were little
he would tease:
“You were adopted!”

“But we look alike…”

He knew it confused me
since I told him in secret:

“We are twins.”

“You know we’re not, right?”
He wanted to make sure I knew…

That out of our two years
days, minutes, seconds
which separated us
was a distance…

The deep down of living
with anyone who could
recognize you?
From a distance?
From a travelled
separation?

“Yeah, but we still are?”

I float around with this question
as he never answered…
Maybe got frustrated with it?
Maybe because he was protecting me…?

I can still hear his background
grinning, hahaing as I try to break
Everything!

Divisive Me

Giving licks on every end
because divisive is at the root
of this struggle.

When the call of unity
as the celebrated front
is all about the erasure of screams.

Divisive is at the root of this struggle.

Desperately wanting to forget how this all came to be.
Demanding others to turn the other cheek.
Divisive is at the root of this struggle.

Valuing only answers which falsely supports “supreme.”
Valuing one future, when future is multiplicity.

Listen and hear it:
Future is Multiplicity!
Future is Multiplicity!
Future is Multiplicity!

Like parallel lines:
We’ll meet in infinity…
We’ll meet in infinity…
We’ll meet in infinity…
We’ll meet in infinity.

Divisive is at the root of this struggle.

WILD CANARY!

They say I’m dangerous.
So, I wear immortal Filas
just so they remember:
I AM SERIOUS!
If you have the “look” use it, right?
So I wear a muffler, bearing all the scars.
I wear a free bird’s feathers –
A wild canary singing and dancing as
A motherfucking Gangster –
giving a devil’s wink
to everyone in the choir…
They know my religion.

Grow-back Like A Starfish

I do not need to compose anything about you…
There are so many descriptions of the same theme
where you are expressed in varying degrees of dissection

as cells
stems
branches, unexamined
yet an example of…

I will not pretend to know your knowledge…
There are so many competing ways
which are all reacting to the same ‘model’?

as a gift
they are shared
as soft screams
they remember…

I will not be stolen by our brutality
which grieves in silence of its learned dejected shame
gone, only when reached by that recognition

loaded with all that is hurtful, instead of asking why…
‘ruined’ by handling the deadliest, the begrudge of wonderings …

Which completely loves you?
Is not that the ‘Universe’ speaking?

aNDREA

tHE IdeA that someone
can know you is impossible.

your very name
provokes investigation
if someone wants to know
more than the surface.

I met you in 2012
you wore mismatch Converses
maybe that was meant to be a purpose

I did not care about their purpose
then intentions?
I cared more about knowing.

In a protective way
I still wanted to know more

more than mismatch shoes
paranoid assumptions

the invalid account
for which does not tell
allow anything other
than your perspective
from what is learnt
in what is believed
by our own poison
by what we are told.

 

Masochistic Crush

Maybe self possessed

sorts for reasons

when looking out

is a measure for not

 

not fall into this sea

since

 

flies cover my home

because I’ve died several times?

 

It must be in itself, within itself?

As a whole other story

one which cannot be edited?

 

It is a coliseum which does not even exist:

assumed colors

patterns

unrecognizable radius

presumed un-giving

 

which cannot speak?

 

A nothingness which means nothing

a line that none of us understand…

 

I understand as I lay my mess here?

Is that the absorption my body holds

 

that begs deeply

tide siren sigh

 

exhausted by hunger: a desire

to see her difficult look

 

which to me resembles

everything true?

 

Continue

 

we can look at each other

with such suspicions

eyes that are sharply rich

with a much effective presence

a dark yellow dance of wanting


maybe this is hope

Narrow

Still peeking, even while it hurts
still wandering like it is meant to be
when the worse is not even death…

A craving carried in such unknown
can you remember how to stand why?
Such a certain frequency
affecting that every piece of being… ?